watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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