Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
