I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
