i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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