Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
