considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Randomize