My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish i was in the wii world.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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