I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Randomize
