you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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