Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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