i can't believe i had my finger in that
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
