Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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