Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
