As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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