Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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