so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
