he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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