I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
