Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
