i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
