I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
