I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How's work?
Spinning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
