Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
