Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
