So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
