Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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