After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
