hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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