I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
