I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
