my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Terrible idea I love it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
