bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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