why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
