she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
