she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She needs sedatives and a leash
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
