I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
