i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
