Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
