I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
