I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
