Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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