Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
