You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This house was built for laser tag.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
