That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
