I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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