jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Randomize
