where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
