I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
