they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
