is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
