you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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