did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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